June Parenting

It has been 6 months since I ended my marriage of 27 years last August 2009.  Life has been wonderful to me and there are 2 kinds of reactions that I get:

The one from my “in-laws” is hostile.  I am barred from all family gatherings from his side.  Nonetheless, my 2 sister-in-laws (ex-brother-in-laws’ wives) are still in touch with me.  Occasionally, we will go for meals and catch-up on what is happening.

My own family has been very supportive, especially my children.  They are sensitive kids and I really want to thank them for helping me through this period.  My stand is that he is still their father and he is welcome to join any family functions where the children are involved.  Other than my children’s birthdays and mine, he has avoided other functions involving my other family members.

For my mum, accepting the separation initially was a pain to her.  She has since accepted the fact and seeing me cheerful again was a consolation to her.   My own siblings had been supportive in their silent ways, respecting my decision.

For the past one year, close friends who knew about my relationship challenge have been giving me moral support.  I really appreciate the time they had taken to accommodate me when I was down.

The painful decision took me one year to deliberate after weighing the pros and cons.  Without financial, emotional and physical support from your spouse and still burden with taking care of 4 children, the strain was too much to bear.  I broke down in Dec 2008 where I left home for 2 nights, just to think things over.  We went through 2 rounds of counseling with the situation remaining status quo.  That’s when I make the decision . . .

And what have I been doing these past 6 months . . .

• I was involved in the Parenting Conference held on 23 Jan 2010 where preparation started way back in Sep 2009.  The event was supported by 2 government bodies.  We had more than 10 sponsors and the team of 7 really worked our heart out.
• In Nov 2009, I was offered a job in a bookstore and started worked in Dec 2009.  After 2 months’ probation, my boss confirmed my appointment.  This is the third month and I am still negotiating for more pay to compensate for the amount of time I spend in the company.  Very positive environment and I kind of like it.
• In Dec 2009, I also took on the role of co-ordinator with a secondary school.  Something new to me but I am one person who enjoy learning new things.

Life is short and I still look on to every day as a new day.  Every one has a choice how they want to live and I have chosen mine.  The years ahead may get lonelier when my children start they own families.  Well, who knows . . . I may find a second Mr Right.  Ha ha . . .

Posted on February 18th, 2010 by June
Filed under: Family Matters, Delights and Woes | 2 Comments »

Hi Singapore Parents

Today, would like to share some words of wisdom with you:

Walk for 10 - 30 minutes every day, while smiling.

Sit quietly for at least 10 minutes every day, in isolation, if necessary.

Upon arising in the morning, one must immediately say: “My goal today is . . . . . . . ”

Listen to quality music every day.  This is real nourishment for the soul.

Live with the 3 Es - ENERGY, ENTHUSIASM and EMPATHY.

Play more games than last year.

Read more books than last year.

Look at the sky at least once a day, appreciating the majesty of the world that surrounds us.

Dream more while awake.

Eat more food that come from trees and plants.  Eat less manufactured food.

Eat berries and nuts.  Drink green tea, plenty of water and a glass of wine each day; toast something beautiful in life and if possible, in the company of a loved one.

Try to make a least 3 people laugh every day.

Eliminate clutter in the home, the car and the office.  Let a new energy enter your life.

Do not spend your precious time immersed in rumours, things from the past, negative thoughts or things beyond your control.  It is better to invest your energy in the positive present.

Life is a school and we are here to learn.  Problems are lessons that come and go; what we learn from them will serve us for the rest of our lives.

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

Smile and laugh more often.

Do not let an opportunity pass to hug a friend.

Life is too short to waste time hating someone.

Do not take yourself so seriously.  Nobody else does.

It is not necessary to win every argument.  One must accept that the other person is not in agreement and learn from his position.

Make peace with your past so as not to ruin your present.

Do not compare your life with others.  You have no idea of the highways they have travelled during their lives.

Nobody is responsible for your happiness, except yourself.

Remember well that we have no control over what happens to us but only what we do.

Learn something new every day.

What others think of us is not completely under our control.

Appreciate your body and its marvels.

Whether the situation is good or bad, it will change.

Work will not take care of us when we are sick.  Our friends will.  Stay in contact with them.

Reject everything that is not useful, amusing or beautiful.

Do not lose time.  We already have all the things we need.

The best is yet to come.

Nothing is as important as sitting, standing, getting dressed and helping others.

Have fantastic sex, always in harmony with the other person.

Phone your family regularly and tell them “Hi, I was thinking of you.”

Each day, before going to sleep, say: “I am thankful for _____________.  Today, I succeeded in _____________.”

Remember that we have too much that is good to be stressed.

Enjoy the voyage.  There is only one chance to be successful.

Life is beautiful.  You must appreciate it as much as possible.

(Author unknown)

Singapore parents, have a wonderful journey through these words of wisdom.

Posted on December 9th, 2009 by June
Filed under: Reflections and Resolutions, Poems and Quotable Quotes, Parenting Tips | 6 Comments »

One day, a donkey fell into a dried well.  The poor donkey cried for several hours to no avail.  The desperate farmer tried in vain to have it rescued.  Finally, the farmer decided the donkey was old, the well ought to be covered, so it was not worth the while to save the donkey.

The farmer then gathered all the neighbours to help him cover the well.  Everyone took the hoe and started filling up the well.

The donkey immediately realized what was happening.  Initially, it continued to wail.  However, shortly, it quiet down.  After a while, the farmers could not bare their curiosity and decided to take a look.  What they saw was a shocking sight.

For every scoop of soil ploughed onto the donkey’s back, it shook them off and fiercely stamped them on the ground.

With that, the donkey was able to elevate itself out of the well in no time.  It jumped out of the well and sped off.  Everyone was amazed by this act.

Morale of the story – actually life is just so.  For all difficulties and setbacks, it will fall on our back.  To get out of this suffering well and move towards success and glory, there is only one way.  That is, shake them off and heavily stomped them onto the ground. Because, for life’s difficulties and failures, it is actually the stepping stone in one’s journey. 

So parents, do share this story with you kids.

Posted on November 17th, 2009 by June
Filed under: Reflections and Resolutions, Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Hi Singapore Parents

The above event has been postponed to 23 January 2010.   For those of you who are still interested, do log on to http://www.familiesfortomorrow.sg/  for registration.

Cheers

@ 23 Oct 2009

Hi Singapore Parents

Are your children’s exam over?  For those still in progress, I wish you and your family good luck and good health.

Come 21 November 2009, do give yourselves a break.  Join the Parenting Conference at Hersing Hub, Toa Payoh, 743 Lorong 5, Singapore 319457.  Hear the following 4 speakers touch on topics such as:

• Protecting and strengthening marriages by Mr Simon Sim
• Nurturing and developing a learning resilient child by Dr Moo Swee Ngoh
• Communicating and managing emotions effectively in the family by Mr Jason Ng
• Healthy money management for the family by Mr Dennis Ng

Also concurrently, children from Primary 1 to Secondary 2 can participate in fun and activity-based learning workshops such as:

• Genius brain development training
•  Magical journey to creative thinking
• Habits of successful teenagers
• Money wise apprentice camp

This event is organised by Family For Tomorrow, an appointed School Family Education (SFE) service provider which conducts family eduction programmes at primary/ secondary schools and junior colleges.  It is supported by Ministry of Community Development , Youth & Sports (MCYS) and Health Promotion Board.

So parents, if you are interested, do log on to http://www.familiesfortomorrow.sg/  for registration.

Posted on November 2nd, 2009 by June
Filed under: Events and Projects, Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Hi Singapore Parents

Yesterday, I was at 8Q, Singapore Art Museum and did an art piece using some of my past articles and photographs. The invitation was by Felicia Low who was tasked to do visual arts from people relating what they want to do with their lives.

I shared on My 100 successes, Reflections for Year 2008, Half A Century Old and Remembering My Dad.

At this point of time, I want to live life to the fullest, enjoy what I do and follow my heart.  The 3 things I want to focus on are:

v    To do more training - with my NPL certification, I would like to help willing parties improve their lives;

v    To write more articles on health and parenting topics which I am passionate to share with other parents;

v    To continue to use my ‘magic’ hands and apply Reiki to those in need.

So parents, do make a trip down to 8Q, 8 Queens Street Level 3, Felicia Low’s My Space and see my ‘master’ piece.  The exhibition is on until Dec 2009.   

Posted on September 13th, 2009 by June
Filed under: Reflections and Resolutions, Delights and Woes | 2 Comments »