Having 4 Children

Posted on by

I refer to SM Goh’s message in the The Straits Times today – Help sovle the puzzle of missing babies. He is concerned that a population that is not replacing itself will severely affect Singapore’s future.

As a parent of 4 children, I would like to share with parents, parents-to-be and DINKs (couples who have Double Income, No Kids) how I raise and manage my kids.

I have 3 girls and a boy (no. 2), aged 22, 19, 17 and 14. For my first 3 kids, I foster them to a home. In 1990, when my eldest girl was 6, the nanny had to re-locate. I then took in a maid. In 1991, when my youngest girl came along, I foster her to my neighbour while the maid continued to take care of the 3 older ones. When she turned 2, she was in the care of my only maid, together with her other siblings.

All-in-all, we had 4 maids in a span of 10 years. In 2001, when my husband’s business failed, I sent the maid home after her contract ended. Since then, no maid. My youngest was in primary 4 then. I remember asking her can we do without the maid. She pondered for a while and requested to wait until she was in primary 6. I said no because we really need to cut cost. The car was also gone.

It was a great adjustment for the family but we managed. I wanted to try out the dinner caterer arrangement but my kids say no. They prefer to try cooking themselves. So, I started guiding them step-by-step simple meals and allocating household chores to them. Today, I am proud to say my 2 younger girls can cook better than any of their peers.

The working hours of my present job can be long at times. Of course, it is tough to juggle between work and raise 4 kids. However, I take each step as a challenge. Based on 22 years of parenthood, hope you will find the following tips useful.

Tips on managing your kids

  • Breast feed your babies if you can. The benefits are immeasurable.
  • Quality time spent with your child is more important that quantity time, eg engage in activities that involve both parent and child.
  • Follow the pace of each child, some may be faster, some slower.
  • Get them to share things (more cost effective when there is more than 1 kid).
  • Get support from family members and friends when you need help.
  • Try to get your kids to be present for family gatherings. It is a good way to stay in touch and know who your relatives are.
  • Train them to be independent, eg get them to wear socks/shoes themselves at a young age; clear dishes from dining table the put them in the sink.
  • Inculcate in them the importance of money, eg spend within your means.
  • Be involved in their school activities (they will appreciate that we take the time to do so).
  • Respect that kids do want private moments, like closing the door and talk to friends on personal matters.
  • Let them know that adults also need some private time, eg during anniversary, go for a show without them.
  • Be prepared to change with the times. Sometimes, you just have to learn things their way.

I do agree with SM Goh that having children is a personal decision and lifestyle choice. But children do add joy to the family. My encounter with each of my children is different. Will share with you some other time . . .

62 thoughts on “Having 4 Children”

  1. Fairly interesting post. Couldn’t be written much better. Browsing this post reminds me of my old friend. She always kept babbling about this. I will forward this post and I’m pretty sure it will be a good read for ‘em. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply ↓

  3. Hi Claris
    Thank you for your interest in my blog. To come back to this site again, you may add to your RSS feed.

    Cheers
    June Goh

    Reply ↓

  10. “You possess a actually interesting blog. Too a lot of blogs that I see now do not seriously offer something that I am thinking about, but I am definately considering this one. Just considered that I would pass that message on. “

    Reply ↓

  11. I believe the details written inside your write-up is really excellent. I’ve been operating on a preliminary analysis undertaking regarding this subject and your weblog seriously aided with a variety of concerns that I’d. I am composing a term paper for college and I?m currently subsequent numerous blogs for review.

    Reply ↓

  17. I used to be very pleased to seek out this web-site.I needed to thanks to your time for this excellent learn!! I positively having fun with every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.

    Reply ↓

  19. I dont know what to say. this is definitely one of the better blogs Ive read. Youre so insightful, have so much real stuff to bring to the table. I hope that more people read this and get what I got from it: chellolls. Great job and great site. I cant wait to read more, keep em comin!

    Reply ↓

  20. I enjoyed reading your pleasant website. I see you offer priceless info. feel into this blog by chance but I’m sure glad I clicked on that link. You definitely answered all the questions I’ve been dying to answer for some time now. Will definitely come back for more of this.

    Reply ↓

  22. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks a lot

    Hi Cara
    I got my theme from WordPress. Keep searching and you will find one that is suitable for you.

    Cheers
    June Goh
    Email: june@juneparenting.com

    Reply ↓

  23. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. appreciate it

    Hi Naprawa
    I got my theme from WordPress. Got help from a friend who help do the setup.

    Cheers
    June Goh
    Email: june@juneparenting.com

    Reply ↓

  25. Hey there, thanks for the good guide. Honestly, just approximately 6 weeks ago I started using the internet and became an internet user and came online for the first time, and there is a huge amount of crap out there. I love that you have published terrific information that is straightforward and on the subject. Best of luck and many thanks for the fantastic tips.

    Reply ↓

  26. This is a well written post, if only just about all bloggers offered exactly the same worth of content as you, the internet will be a much better location. Make sure you continue the good work!

    Reply ↓

  28. I was very happy to look for this particular net-site.I desired in order to thanks to your time with this wonderful examine!! I without doubt taking pleasure in every small little this and I’ve an individual book marked to see fresh belongings you article.

    Reply ↓

  30. Excellent post. I find something new on various blogs everyday. It is always stimulating to see content from different writers and learn a bit from them. Id like to use some of this content on my blog if you dont mind. Natually Ill provide a link back to your site. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply ↓

  32. Hello, I would to let you that I have found this article to be amazingly helpful to me. I also have a quick question for you, would it be alright if I were to submit a few of my own helpful topics for other people to view. Please get back to me, thanks Kyle

    Reply ↓

  33. Hello buddy, your website utes motif is actually understandable as well as virtuous and i want it. Your website posts tend to be exceptional. Fulfill sustain these coming. Meets!!!

    Reply ↓

  35. This blog can easily touch life. We appreciate you all you’ve got developed on this. I am going to certainly continue returning to search much more of your projects.

    Reply ↓

  37. Hello, thanks a lot for the good write-up. Actually, just approximately eight months ago I began using the web and became an web user and came on the internet for the first time, and there is always a whole lot waste out there. I appreciate that you have produced outstanding content that is straightforward and well-written. I wish you all and thanks for the superb tips and hints.

    Reply ↓

  42. I’m not really a internet reader to be honest but your site is really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. Many thanks

    Reply ↓

  43. hello!,I like your writing so much! share we communicate more about your article on AOL’ I require a specialist on this area to solve my problem. May be that’s you! Looking forward to see you.

    Reply ↓

  46. You make a great point in your final paragraph. My wife and I couldn’t agree more along with your points. Throughout today’s modern world, your sight on this issue is inadequate in today’s kids. We have to make sure that our kids find out more on this topic so we will not lose our ways.

    Reply ↓

  52. I find it so hard to believe that it was only a month ago that i didn’t know how to boil and egg and no i can actually cook dinner for my family instead of my wife always have to do it lol

    Reply ↓

  53. Finally, I located the information I was looking for. I have been doing research on this subject, and for four days I keep entering web-sites that are supposed to have what I am looking for, only to be discouraged with the lack of what I wanted. I wish I could have located your web-site sooner! I had about 30% of what I needed and your site has that, and the rest of what I need to complete my research. Thank you and I will report back on how it goes!

    Reply ↓

  57. This is this kind of a fantastic useful resource that youre providing and you give it away free of charge. I adore seeing web websites that understand the worth of offering a top quality useful resource for free. It?s the old what goes about arrives around routine.

    Reply ↓

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>