Sibling Rivalry

Posted on by

This refers to competition between siblings especially for the attention, affection and approval of their parents.

For families with 2 children or more, it is an inevitable situation that parents have to deal with. A Singapore counselor advises: “Sibling rivalry is part of growing up. Be patient and let things run its course.” She has the following tips to offer:

  • Avoid comparison – when praise is given to one child, remember also to encourage the other(s). Constantly comparing yours kids can result in jealousy among them.

  • Avoid being the judge – where there is conflict among the children, parents should try to be impartial. Make a point to listen to their point to views. Find out why the guilty party is lying. Correct his/her behaviour by explaining the consequence of lying.

  • Avoid favouritism – favouritism causes jealousy and even resentment among the children. Where possible, tell them individually how much you love them.
Below are some examples how I deal with sibling rivalry among my 4 children when they were young.

The strongest rivalry symptom was between my no. 3 and no. 4. When I was expecting my youngest daughter, my no. 3 simply did not like it. During the early stage of my pregnancy, she would insist that I carry her although she could already walk. Towards the final stage, when I step into the house after work, she would want to beat my stomach and said: “I don’t want baby.” I had to assure her that she is still my darling.

After her little sister was borne, I got her to play the big sister role. When the little one cried, I would not immediately attend to her. Instead, I would involve all my children, if they are at home and said: “Let’s see what the baby wants.” If it is feeding time, I will get them to help make the milk, get the napkin and feed her if they wanted to. During bath time, I will get them to get ready baby’s clothes, towel, powder and so forth. Sometimes, they also get to choose what their little sister should wear for the day.

For their routine activities like story-telling, playtime and others, I would continue to do with them, where time permits. The important thing is let them know that you still care and they are not being neglected.

I remembered, on one occasion, my son sheepishly stood outside the room door and was peeping at me. I called to him to come in. I looked at him and asked: “You want a hug?” He nodded his head and I opened my arms. After holding him for a while, I told him: “Any time you want a hug, just come to mummy, ok?” He gladly nodded his head again and went off to play. Being a boy, he was afraid to be laughed at if he said he wanted a hug but that assurance surely did him good. He is 19 now and would still let me hold his hand when we go out.

My eldest girl was also jealous of her siblings. When she was 8, I noted that she had been withdrawing herself. One day, I pulled her aside and we had a heart-to-heart talk. She felt that I favoured the young ones more. When I asked her in what way, she said I paid more attention to the young ones like feeding them and other baby-like activities. When I asked her if she wanted me to feed her, she laughed. I told her I catered to all their needs based on their age. I also explained to her that being the eldest, she has all the first priorities like getting all the new things. Most of the usable things will eventually be passed down to the rest. With 4 kids, I definitely have to enforce sharing to save cost.

Glad to say they have been caring and showing support for each other.

    56 thoughts on “Sibling Rivalry”

    1. i was starting to imagine i might probably end up being the sole young woman whom cared about this, at the least now i comprehend i’m not weird :) i’ll make sure to see a handful of various other articles when i get my morning caffeine in me, it is actually not easy to read without having my coffee, take care :)

      Reply ↓

    8. I definitely wanted to make a remark to thank you for all of the wonderful guides you are sharing on this website. My time-consuming internet research has finally been paid with reliable know-how to talk about with my classmates and friends. I ‘d admit that many of us website visitors are rather lucky to exist in a great site with very many brilliant individuals with great techniques. I feel really blessed to have discovered your webpages and look forward to so many more cool times reading here. Thanks once more for everything.

      Reply ↓

    9. This blog seems to recieve a large ammount of visitors. How do you advertise it? It gives a nice unique twist on things. I guess having something real or substantial to talk about is the most important factor.

      Reply ↓

    13. I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am now not certain whether this put up is written by him as nobody else understand such specific about my problem. You’re incredible! Thank you!

      Reply ↓

    15. I wish more people would write blogs like this that are really fun to read. With all the fluff floating around on the net, it is rare to read a blog like this instead.

      Reply ↓

    18. Thank you for taking the occasion to explain this affair. I’m fortunate I discovered your blog on this material. I’m doing analysis on this interest right now and this was great. Keep up the proficient work.

      Reply ↓

    19. Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is magnificent, as well as the content!

      Reply ↓

    20. Rather nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have genuinely enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. Soon after all I is going to be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write once again soon!

      Reply ↓

    21. Incredible, wonderful weblog structure! Just how long are you running a blog regarding? you are making blogging and site-building appear effortless. The overall seem of your website is wonderful, as well as the content!

      Reply ↓

    24. Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

      Reply ↓

    25. I and also my friends came checking out the great suggestions on the website then immediately I had a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to you for those techniques. All of the young men had been as a consequence happy to read through them and have certainly been tapping into them. Many thanks for actually being considerably helpful and also for settling on this kind of high-quality resources most people are really eager to understand about. Our honest apologies for not saying thanks to you sooner.

      Reply ↓

    27. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The style and design look great though! Hope you get the issue resolved soon. Thanks

      Reply ↓

    33. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too magnificent. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it wise. I can not wait to read much more from you. This is actually a great web site.

      Reply ↓

    37. Outstanding problems?I could bear in mind that every one that truly does not publish for information sites so much (the truth is, this could be my own very first publish), I don’t suppose the stretch of time lurker’ is quite becoming into a nonposting visitor. It’s no more time a person’s mistake in any way diploma , but maybe the blogosphere might just think of a greater, noncreepy discover to the ninety% of people this enjoy reading the material stuff .

      Reply ↓

    41. I’m no longer positive where you are getting your information, however great topic. I must spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thank you for excellent information I was in search of this info for my mission.

      Reply ↓

    51. I like this website very much, Its a real nice post to read and find info. “We shall see but a little way if we require to understand what we see.” by Henry David Thoreau.

      Reply ↓

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>