It has been 6 months since I ended my marriage of 27 years last August 2009. Life has been wonderful to me and there are 2 kinds of reactions that I get:The one from my “in-laws” is hostile. I am barred from all family gatherings from his side. Nonetheless, my 2 sister-in-laws (ex-brother-in-laws’ wives) are still in touch with me. Occasionally, we will go for meals and catch-up on what is happening.
My own family has been very supportive, especially my children. They are sensitive kids and I really want to thank them for helping me through this period. My stand is that he is still their father and he is welcome to join any family functions where the children are involved. Other than my children’s birthdays and mine, he has avoided other functions involving my other family members.
For my mum, accepting the separation initially was a pain to her. She has since accepted the fact and seeing me cheerful again was a consolation to her. My own siblings had been supportive in their silent ways, respecting my decision.
For the past one year, close friends who knew about my relationship challenge have been giving me moral support. I really appreciate the time they had taken to accommodate me when I was down.
The painful decision took me one year to deliberate after weighing the pros and cons. Without financial, emotional and physical support from your spouse and still burden with taking care of 4 children, the strain was too much to bear. I broke down in Dec 2008 where I left home for 2 nights, just to think things over. We went through 2 rounds of counseling with the situation remaining status quo. That’s when I make the decision . . .
And what have I been doing these past 6 months . . .
- I was involved in the Parenting Conference held on 23 Jan 2010 where preparation started way back in Sep 2009. The event was supported by 2 government bodies. We had more than 10 sponsors and the team of 7 really worked our heart out.
- In Nov 2009, I was offered a job in a bookstore and started worked in Dec 2009. After 2 months’ probation, my boss confirmed my appointment. This is the third month and I am still negotiating for more pay to compensate for the amount of time I spend in the company. Very positive environment and I kind of like it.
- In Dec 2009, I also took on the role of co-ordinator with a secondary school. Something new to me but I am one person who enjoys learning new things.
Life is short and I still look on to every day as a new day. Every one has a choice how they want to live and I have chosen mine. The years ahead may get lonelier when my children start they own families. Well, who knows . . . I may find a second Mr Right. Ha ha . . .
Posted on February 18th, 2010 by June
Filed under: Family Matters, Delights and Woes
Divorce its just so hard for the kids. when my parents separated, I was so doomed and very disappointed. But I just have to accept things as they are meant to happen. Good thing I got this planner/organizer from co-Parenting-Manager (http://4help.to/plan) which really helped me cope up with the situation. Their website is also perfect for parents and kids who are experiencing the dilemma of divorce.
Hi Robert
Thank you for sharing the website for parents and kids who are experiencing the dilemma of divorce.
Cheers
June
I stumbled onto your blog and read a few post. I like your style of writing.
Hi Mark
Glad to know that you appreciate my style of writing.
Cheers
June
Hi June
Stumbled on your website second time now….cant remember when was the first and which parenting topic I was researching about.
I really like your honest sharing and all the quotes and reflection. As a mother with young children I am sure I can learn a lot from you.
I am currently organising a parenting seminar to talk about success and happiness. Would love ot find out if there’s something we can work on together?
Could you contact me please?
Thank you so much.
Hi Jenny
Thank you for your interest in my website.
Glad to know that I could be of help to you. Yes, you may email me at june@juneparenting.com to discuss further. Alternatively, give me your contact no.
Cheers
June Goh
www.juneparenting.com is very interesting. I enjoyed your blog a lot. Thank you.
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