Hi parents

Yes, it was my birthday yesterday.  Since crossing the half-century mark, I have left it to my children to organize the programs for me.

Morning, I relax and read a book I started yesterday.  Lunch was simple rice packet bought from the coffee shop downstairs.

In the afternoon, I went to church with my third girl at City Harvest for the 2 – 4 pm service.  There was a drama on Home Coming that combined the screen and actual performance.  As usual, I am always amazed at the standard they put up which is of high quality – from costumes, props and acting.

Thereafter, Pastor Kong shared on the message of Christ being with us – Restore, Refresh and Remake.  Yes, as I reflect the year 2011 coming to an end in a week’s time, there definitedly is need for restoration, refreshing and remaking of a new me.  I am not a religious person but somehow the message resounded to me.

Dinner was at The King Louis Bar & Grill at Vivo.  Was glad that my mum and sister could join us.  We ordered a combination of meat and seafood platter.  Although it said suitable for 4 – 5 persons, the 7 of us struggled to finish all the food.  In the end, only the potatoes were left.

I look forward to more such celebrations for many more years to come and I will be thankful if my mum can join in for as long as she can.

Here’s Merry Christmas to all sharing my joy for this joyous occasion.

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. When we were young, we play together, go to school together and do a lot of other things together.

When we grew older and started to work, things began to change. We talk lesser to each other. Lucky for our parents, we still have activities during the weekends. We would go to restaurants around Singapore to try out different special dishes.After one by one got married, exchanges get even lesser. We would still meet at our parents’ home during weekends. When our children came along, priority is on them and sometimes we see each other less than 20 times a year. Of course, Chinese New Year would be a rowdy one where all will bring their children to pay respects to our elders.

After my dad’s demise last year, we had intended to spend more time with our mum. However, there seemed to be communication breakdown. Mum was left alone most of the time and that was how depression set in. Of late, we have been talking to each other more often, to help mum regain her old self.

It is rather sad that we had to wait for a crisis to happen before coming to unity again. For the sake of our mum, I sincerely hope this will continue.

Yes, today is Papa’s birthday. Had he been alive, he would have been 80.I was at the Toa Payoh Lorong 6 temple with my husband and elder 2 kids to pay our respect. At his tablet, I fought back my tears. Still miss him . . .

Papa, wherever you are, just hope you are happy. Mum is the surviving parent we have now. Please bless her with good health and may she be rid of worries.

School started on 3/1/2007 and my daughter, Yusin, attended a 3-day workshop by Adam Khoo – “I am Gifted So Are You”. It ended last evening and parents were invited for the finale.At the end of the session, Yusin handed me a letter that she had written in the wee-morning of 5/1/2007:

“Mummy and Papa

I love you. Really, just that it will feel very awkward to tell you these 3 words out of the blue, right? Anyway, I must first confess that it is now 0110 am. This means that instead of sleeping, I am here in our dining area writing a ‘love letter‘ to the both of you!Anyway, yesterday, the coach gave a a prep talk about how we should not live to regret blah blah and that is why I NEED to tell you I love you! Really, I don’t want to regret, should anything happen. *choi* but it really is from the bottom of my heart. Many times I have thanked you, in fact everyday, I will thank the both of you! But it is ‘I love you’ that is difficult to say. So, promise me that from now on, when/if I say ‘I love you’ to you, please do not look shock!

I want to thank the both of you for your love all these years! I think it was because of your love for me that you did everything you did. Gary, my trainer said that we are loved from the moment you conceived me! Because the both of you took great care of me, out of LOVE, when I was in your womb! I feel so so so so loved! Really! Actually, the workshop didn’t really apply to me because even before the workshop, I already felt that MY PARENTS are the best in the world! because you don’t ever stress me about studies etc. You have complete trust in me and I really love and thank you for that! I always feel so fortunate when comparing the topic ‘FAMILY’ with my friends I have 3 “wai leng nei re” siblings, meaning at the very bottom of their hearts, they care for me although they don’t show it, and 2 FABULOUS parents!

You know, during the workshop, there was a question: what are you proud of? and immediately I got an answer! that is: “I have never disgraced my parents. They are NOT ashamed of me. I am their pride.” Thank you mummy and papa! I am very ‘ji dong’ now because I am really very exicted when I think about how my achievements have made YOU PROUD of me! How happy you looked when you tell others ‘Oh, my daughter got 262 for PSLE’ or ‘She is the Head Prefect of Cedar!’ Really, I am proud that I have made you proud of me and all the credit goes you both! Really! The way you have brought me up. . .

Do you know I am the most knowledgeable about housework and common sense! It’s true and I am totally independently at camps and chalets! Things are not difficult for me because I have been doing it all my life. My character and readiness to help, my efficiency, my responsibility, are all what you have imparted to me! I really really love you both! Without you, there is no me! (Litterally and metaphorically).

Well, apart from saying all that, I must confess to some mistakes I have done. Firstly, I am really sorry for not helping out sometimes, like boiling water, etc. I know I could have done it and everyone would be happier but I just didn’t. Sorry, mummy. For papa, I always leave the dishes to you and take you for granted. Really sorry for all the things I HAVE NOT DONE. Another offence I always commit esp after I was in Sec 3, is sleeping late! And I actually either ignore the both of you or actually wake up later (after you sleep) and use the computer. Yes, sometimes, I wonder why I keep using the computer. Technology has made assignments IT. EXCUSES! because I am guilty of doing unimportant things online, when I am supposed to be doing work, like blogging, friendster.com etc. Sorry mummy and papa. For your understanding towards my work load and helping me along the way.

Seriously, my whole life belongs to the 2 of you and it belongS not belongED means I will forever be your ‘guai nu er’.

Love forever and everyday
Yusin”

I read this letter 3 times and have asked Yusin’s permission to have it published in my blog. My husband and I are very touched by this ‘LOVE’ letter and I am sure you know why . . .

Last Sunday (29 Oct 2006), my niece got married. The wedding dinner was held at Marina Mandarin Singapore, Vanda Ballroom.Me and my girls had gone shopping for the appropriate clothes and shoes to put on 2 weeks before the occasion. It was both tiring and fun. We combed Bugis Village and People’s Park.

On the actual day itself, 3 of us had our hairs done at the salon downstairs. And here is the outcome . . .

Oh boy, am I proud to be the parent of these girls. Aren’t they lovely??? So, who is the fairest of them all??

Since his death, my mum has not been taking it well. As her health has also been bad, she has been crying in private moments. As I pen this article, my eyes are also wet with tears. I still miss him dearly.

Dad was borne in China on 22 Dec 1927. At age 20, he went to Kuala Lumpur and spent 5 years there, in his eldest brother’s home. Every month, he would dutifully send half of his pay back to his hometown. Thereafter, he came to Singapore and worked. After 3 years, he married my mother and had since settled down here. My god-grandmother was their match-maker.

Dad fathered the 6 of us – 3 boys and 3 girls. For the first 8 years of my life, I was the only girl and the apple of his eye. Even after my 2 younger sisters came along, I was still his favourite. For most of his financial and personal matters, he would prefer me to handle them. After I was married, he would still call me up and talk about private issues concerning my mother and my other siblings.

I would not say my parents were a loving pair. They quarreled a lot. My mum is the domineering one and it was my dad who would give in to her most of the time. However, when it comes to monetary matters, both will discuss before making any hasty decision. After all, theirs were hard earned money from doing business and they would only spend on what is necessary. Because of their thriftiness and foresight in investment, they had some savings and passive income during old age. After his retirement, he relied on rental for his daily needs.

Like most parents, they wanted the best for us but never spoiling us. My mum is the one who would use the rod and dad would be the good guy. My 3 brothers got most of the spankings when they were young. I was always at ease in dad’s presence and he would accede to most of my requests. He had this positive attitude that things will turn out right. When my husband’s business failed a few years ago, he rendered financial help and moral support. Only last year, after selling my apartment, was I able to repay him. He had planned to return to China again some time this year.

Dad never drove any car. Instead, he rode motor bikes until age 65, all the while on a L-plate. He attempted the driving test but would go giddy whenever he had to make the ‘8’ turns so he gave up trying. Although no passengers are allowed for L-plates, I was a regular rider, hugging tightly behind him. He was a prudent rider, never speeding to ensure safety.

On 18 February this year, we celebrated the 50th wedding ceremony of our parents. My youngest sister had pieced together a cluster of black and while photographs of our parents and the 6 of us. It was a touching moment for them with plenty of recollections. The younger generation looked in amusement of how their parents were when they were babies. It was a happy meal together, followed by Karaoke session.

On 22 Apr 2006, my uncle in Kuala Lumpur passed away at age 88. Though my dad was not too well himself, I knew I had to bring him in to pay his last respects. Of the eight siblings, after my uncle’s demise, my dad was the only surviving one. The 2 brothers had not spoken to each other for the past few years over some misunderstanding. The trip was a fruitful one in that the mystery was finally solved and my two cousins finally knew what happened.

On the last week of Papa’s life, mum was away in Vietnam with my youngest sister (7/5 – 12/5). I was glad to have spent the last three days with him – buying him lunch on 9/5, staying overnight to keep him company on 10/5 and getting breakfast for him on 11/5. On the same evening, after work, my second brother and I were at his Ang Mo Kio flat until 9 p.m. before he ‘drove’ us home. My youngest brother stayed with him that night.

The next morning at around 7.00 a.m., my brother woke up and found him already cold and informed us. Other than diabetes, dad is generally in good health. We did not expect his sudden death at all. The doctor certified the cause as natural death. My mum and youngest sister came back only in the afternoon flight reaching Singapore after 6 p.m. The funeral lasted 5 days. During the wake, many people turned up to pay their last respects. One of my uncles even sang a song to him. Older acquaintances said they had enjoyed doing business with my dad as he was an honourable man and always prompt in payment.

On the last day of the funeral, my nephew of 7 asked me if “Kongkong” (grandfather in Teochew) is really gone. I told him although we may not see him again, he will always live in our hearts.

Yes, Papa, in your ordinary and simple ways, you have touched our hearts and make our lives pleasant. We will remember you always.