All childcare centres under the NTUC umbrella will be having new curriculum from April 2007 which include:

• Exciting experiments and ‘hands-on’ activities like setting up a restaurant, mixing drinks with different ingredients and playing cashier, just to name a few.
• Observing things around them and making simple deductions.
• Step-by-step methods and activities for teachers to use (as opposed to general outline of a topic).
• Incorporating art into the English language.
• The last 10 weeks of Kindergarten 2 will be spent getting the children ready to enter primary school.
  

This afternoon, I was at Huamin Primary School to share with P6 students on Perseverance for Success. The following processes were discussed:

• Setting of clear goals
• Planning and scheduling
• Taking consistent action
• Mind mapping

On goal setting, got the students to:

• Write down what each wanted specifically, especially prelim and final PSLE results
• List down the benefits and reasons for achieving the goal(s) – basically it’s the choice of secondary school that the student aims to go to
• Write down what course of action(s) to take to achieve the goal(s) – basically recognizing their weakness(es) and drawing up a time-table to follow
• Set a deadline and periodically review the goal

On planning and scheduling, explained to the pupils that when drawing the time-table, it is important to be specific, e.g. indicate the amount of time allocated for each task. Quite a number of them shared that they would cut down on TV watching and computer games.On action taking, impressed upon them that “Action speaks louder than words”. After setting the goal and drawing the time-table, results will only be realized if they take action. Also quoted examples of negative thoughts like “I don’t know”, “I am lousy” and urged them to stop using this phrases. Instead, use “Let me think about it” and “If others can, so can I”. When playing the “Nose-Ear” game which stimulates both sides of the brain, also got the teacher to join us. They sure had fun.

On mind mapping, taught them how to use keywords, colours and pictures to design their own mind maps. Showed them some examples on hand.

Though it was a short 2 hours, I sincerely hoped I did boost their moral a little and wish them all the best on their exam taking end of the year.

Singapore parents, if you have Pri 6 or Sec 4 children, do encourage them to set goals and be focused.

The following are extracts from the Anthony Robbins organisation.

• Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
• Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
• Do not believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
• When you say, “I love you,” mean it.
• When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.
• Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
• Believe in love at first sight.
• Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who do not have dreams do not have much.
• Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
• In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
• Do not judge people by their relatives.
• Talk slowly but think quickly.
• When someone asks you a question you do not want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
• Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
• When you lose, do not lose the lesson
• Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
• Do not let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
• Spend some time alone.

Under the Home section (H3) of The Straits Times today, there was an article on “Married S’poreans prefer condoms”. From a study by the National University of Singapore (NUS), it was found that the condom is the most popular form of contraception among married Singaporeans. The findings reveal that:

• Husbands are more agreeable to put on condoms
• Women are having more say on fertility decisions
• The use of the rubber has more than doubled over the last 30 years
• Of the 900 married couples interviewed, 39% of them said they use condoms (in 1973, it was only 17%)
• The contraceptive pill, on the other hand, plunged in popularity – from 21.7% to 7%
• Next in popularity is withdrawal (21%)
• This is followed by the rhythm (11%)

Overall, the reliance on such “low-tech” methods implies there is good communication and respect in marriages. The presumption is couples do discuss on the choice of contraception and this is good. Just last night, my 2 younger girls were also talking about fertility period (biology class topic) and some sex matters. Intrauterine Contraceptive Device (IUCD) and sterilization were also discussed. It was a very casual interaction. We briefly discussed how each contraception works. They asked if I used any of those and I shared with them. After the birth of my 4th and last child, I opted for ligation.Parents, should your children approach you on this subject matter, just be natural and deal with it like you are just having a discussion.

In today’s mindyourbody in The Straits Times, I read with interest the article on “Bonding by reading”.I fully agree with Md Hartiny that bonding continued from the moment the baby is borned. I also like her idea of reading not confining to just books – reading anything and everything, like television sub-titles, road signs and even instruction manuals.

Well, I would like to add that story-telling and singing are also good for bonding. I remembered telling my children the same old story every night and they still ask for the same story on the next night. That’s because, I will have high and low pitches when I relate different roles in the story. One example is the The Three Bears. I will have a low pitch voice when I imitate Papa Bear, medium pitch for Mama Bear and high pitch for Baby Bear. The children just loved it.

When they were babies, I used to sing lullabies to them. When they were older, I changed the lyrics to suite the family story. This really sparked their creativity and they also start putting their own words to change the lyrics too.

For story-telling, all libraries do have these sessions on specific days and for different age groups. Singapore parents, do check out the schedules and make an effort to bring your children there. While they enjoy their delights, you can also have a break to pick some groceries or do some chores and fetch them later.

At different age, children have different needs. After certain age, they will not want to go anymore. So wait no more.

Of late, while visiting my mum, she shared that she has constipation. When I ask around, I found that a lot of people also have this problem. So what is constipation, what are the causes and how to go about treating it ? ? ?

What is constipation?

To different people, it means different things. Basically, it refers to infrequent bowel movements. However, some will interpret it as a decrease in the amount of stool. Others describe it as difficulty in passing motion or a sense of incomplete evacuation. When this happens, they usually seek medication to help pass motion.

Ideally, one should clear his/her bowels after every meal. For some peope, it can vary from three times a day to three times a week while some may go a week or more without experiencing discomfort or harmful effects. Bowel habits are affected by diet. The average Singaporean diet includes 12 to 20 grams of fibre per day. This is below the recommended 25 to 30 grams of fibre.

About 80% of people suffer from constipation at some time during their lives. While brief periods of constipation are normal, it is advisible to seek help when the situation prolongs. The general assumption if that if motion is not passed out, it will result in poisons in the body. This can lead to overuse and abuse of laxatives.

What causes constipation?

Many factors may cause constipation. This include inadequate fibre and water intake, a sedentary lifestyle, and environmental changes. It may be aggravated by travel, pregnancy or change in diet. For some people, repeatedly ignoring the urge to pass motion may result in constipation.

More serious causes of constipation include growths or areas of narrowing in the colon. Hence, it is wise to seek the advice of a doctor when constipation persists. Constipation can also be due to nervous or endocrine disorders or diseases like thyroid, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, stroke and spinal cord injuries.

Treatment for constipation

Below are some tips for treatment of constipation:

• Eat well balanced, regularly scheduled meals to promote normal bowel function.
• To ensure roughage, eat foods that are high in fibre such as bran, shredded wheat, whole grain breads and certain fruits and vegetables. The recommended fibre intake is 25 to 30 grams per day for proper bowel function.
• With high fibre diet, this will also help lower cholesterol levels, prevent symptomatic hemorrhoids and reduce the risk of developing colon polyps and caner.
• Ensure that you drink enough fluids to help keep the stools soft. Try to drink at least 8 to 10 glasses of liquid each day in the form of juice, milk, coffee, tea, soup, water or other fluids.
• An increase in activity such as exercise will also help the bowel move.
• Alternatively, fibre supplements may be taken as these are not harmful to the body.
• While laxatives stimulate the colon to work more rapidly, prolonged usage may stretch and weaken the colon. Hence, it is advisible to avoid laxative unless recommended and monitored by doctors.
• A change in lifestyle may also help. Having a specific time each day to have a bowel movement may be helpful. In some cases, bio-feedback may help to retrain poorly functioning anal sphincter muscles.
• Only in rare circumstances are surgical procedures necessary to treat constipation. Your doctor can discuss these options with you in greater detail to determine the best treatment for you.
• Last but not least, try Reiki. After learning this technique, I now have more frequent bowel clearance.

Metaphorically, the intestines represent garbage that are to be disposed. Parents, if you still have a lot of cluttered items, why not take this opportunity to spring-clean them. Who knows, your bowels may be smoothier. . .

With Chinese New Year round the corner, many shopping malls in Singapore offer a good variety of makes and brands. While new shoes may look pretty and trendy, old ones are usually more comfortable. Get new ones if you want but here are some things to take note:

• Select shoes that conform to the shape of your feet
• The toe area should be roomy
• Heel height should be low if you need to stand or walk for long hours
  
• The front portion should be square or round to suit the shape of your feet
• Foot size changes as one ages so it is always good to try on the spot
• Due to weight gain or loss, one foot may be bigger than the other so choose the size that fit the larger one
• For sneakers, replace them after running more than 600 – 800 km or after doing 300 hours of aerobic activities
• Avoid tight shoes and those with stiff backs
  

Other pointers on foot care include:

• Cutting toe nails across in a straight line to avoid ingrown toe nails
• Standing for long hours without shoes may cause fallen arches
• To avoid planter warts, wear flip-flops instead of walking barefoot
• To avoid tendon inflammation, it is good to warm up and stretch before and after work-outs

Parents, hope you find the above tips useful and happy shopping for your kids and yourself. For more information on foot care and treatments, you may log on to www.sgfootcare.com.

Hi Parents

In busy Singapore environment, very often, we are concerned with our kids and family. So much so, we tend to forget ourselves. Here’s some pointers on HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF by Louise L Hay.

STOP ALL CRITICISM

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

DO NOT SCARE YOURSELF

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives your pleasure (mine is yellow roses) and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

BE GENTLE, KIND AND PATIENT

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone your really loved.

BE KIND TO YOUR MIND

Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

PRAISE YOURSELF

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

SUPPORT YOURSELF

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

MIRROR WORK

Look into your eyes often. Express this sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I Love you, I really Love you.”

DO IT NOW

Do not wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now – do the best you can. 

So parents, do spare some time loving yourself. Hope above tips help.

“The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home!” – David O. McKay

Many people ask me how I manage 4 children and stay in workforce for so long, especially in Singapore context.Well, showing love and respect for each other is very important. From young, I ENCOURAGE my children to:

E njoy doing chores for the family such as cooking and housework
N ote each other’s likes and dislikes
C are for the younger ones and teach them when they are in doubt
O wn up wrong-doings such as telling the truth and face the consequence
U se appropriate decision-making skills
R ecognise that everyone needs privacy at times
A void criticism and name callings
G reet their elders, be it at home or when they make visits to their homes
E xchange ideas when doing projects

Hope parents will find the above tips useful. As the saying goes, it is up to us as parents to teach important values such as love and respect to our family.

On the front page of today’s Straits Times – “Young children lead online charge in Singapore”.The annual IDA survey shows that:

• 90% of children under age group 10 – 14 use the Internet to communicate, play and learn
• 64% come from those in the age group 15 – 59
• 20% are those above 60 who were the least Net-savvy

And what are the top online activities that are of interest to these children (10 – 14)?

• 60% send email (42% uses MSN Messenger to send instant messages)
  
• 58% play games
• 52% use internet for learning
• 33% visit chatrooms
• 27% share personal data in social sites like the Friendster
• 18% download music/movies
  

In this present era, the Internet is inextricably woven into the lives of today’s kids. Like one student said: “I cannot imagine life without the Internet.” While this may be a fact, parents still need to be aware of the time spent by children on the internet. This is to ensure that they are not addicted to computer gaming. Take note of the following:

• Is your child spending more and more time on gaming?
• Is he/she neglecting his studies, CCA, family and friends?
• Is his/her study or CCA performance deteriorating?
• Is he/she feeling restless, irritable or discontent when not playing computer game?
• Is he/she going to bed much later than usual or waking up 4 am in the morning just to play the game before going to school?
• Is he/she developing health problems such as eye strain, weight gain and backaches?
• Is he/she lying to the family and teachers about his playing pattern?
• Is he/she feeling guilty, anxious or upset because of his habit?
• Is he/she denying or rationalizing the negative consequences resulting from playing too much computer game?

If you answer is “YES” to several of the questions, then your child could be addicted to computer gaming! Want to know more of these ‘danger’ signs log on to http://www.parentingchampions.com/.

” Be Alert! Before Your Child become a Computer Gaming Junkie “

As parents, we want the best for our children and it pains us to see them making choices that can lead to disastrous consequences. The following tips may be helpful while CONSULTing with our teens.The word ‘CONSULT’ has been used as an acronym and serves to tell our teens that we would like to deal with them with respect.

C are for their needs – With the ever changing times, needs of today’s teens also changed. Forget about the past. Focus on present trends and be mindful to keep up with new technology, new products and who knows what . . .

O bserve house rules – Whatever their age, it is always good to set house rules for the teens to follow. Allow exceptions though when the situation calls for it. Examples would be late nights when there is a party to attend or increase in hand phone bills due to project work.

N urture their strengths or interest – While it is important to pursue academically, do also allow your teen to engage in something that they are passionate about. Encourage their hearts and focus on inspiring them to excel on what they do best.

S upport their activities – From secondary to junior college or polytechnic level, there are a lot of activities, besides school work. Show support in whatever they are doing. Who knows, you will also learn along the way. As mentioned earlier, parents need also to keep up with the times, especially the educational aspect.

U nderstand their emotions – As juvenile as it may be, this is the world they live in. Whatever emotion they are experiencing is real and it is important to not discount how they feel. Be empathetic and genuine in our conversation and let them know we understand how they must feel.

L isten readily – In Singapore, we live in a world where we are taught to have answers for everything and quickly fix the problem. When spending time with our teen, it is important to really listen to what they are saying. It is time to put to rest all the thoughts that might be racing through our head about how we can fix their problems. It is not solutions they are seeking. Sometimes, they just want us to hear what they are saying and genuinely care about their situation.

T rust them to trust you – In today’s youth culture, adults also have to earn both trust and respect. It is extremely important that we do not compromise our integrity and are true to our word. Do not laugh at how they handle a situation or mock at them privately or publicly. As long as a teen is not being hurt or hurting themselves, it is vital to keep our conversations confidential. Teens need someone they can rely on and confide in.

So parents, do take a moment to break away from your busy lifestyle and take your teen out for a bite to eat, a walk on the beach or a bike ride in the park. Underneath that thick skin or hardened attitude is a kid screaming to be loved and listened to.

CONSULT with them. You will be glad you did!

With advanced technology, the use of handphones is a common sight in Singapore. I started to use one because I had to communicate with my children but how effective is it???

Just to relate an incident that happened a few nights ago . . .

My 3rd daughter attended the birthday party of her friend’s mother who turned 50 on 1/1/2007. It was for dinner and I had told her to come back by 11 pm. When there was no sight of her after 11 pm, I called her using my husband’s handphone which was under-used. My own handphone was set to auto shut off at 11 pm.

At about 11.30 pm, she sms to say “Coming home now, phone low batt.” With that note, I switched off the phone and continued waiting. After midnight, still no daughter of mine home yet. My youngest girl and I took turns to call her using the house phone and I even sms her using my own handphone, all to no avail.

By 1 am, I felt uneasy. As we did not have her friend’s number, my youngest girl and I decided to go and look for her. Her friend’s house is just near by. As expected, the flat was in darkness, meaning the party had ended and she was somewhere else. Meanwhile, I continued to call her, just to get a short beep sound and the call was cut off (symptom of low batt). We just have to go home and wait.

Finally, at around 1.30 am, we heard the unlocking sound of the gate and there she was. I locked the main door and refused her entry. To me, she has disappointed me again by being irresponsible and causing the family to worry unnecessarily. She explained that she sent her friend home who happened to stay only at the next block.

I stood in silence for 5 minutes before I relented and unlock the door. As a parent, no matter what wrong my child has done, I simply cannot bring myself to shut her out (although I was angry then). In my heart, I am thankful that she is back home safe. After some reprimanding and grouding her for all future social activities, I went off to bed. I cried for a while and decided that I wanted a better resolution.

I got up and waited for her to finish her bath. Then we had another talk. I just did not understand why:

• she took 2 hours to come home after her sms at 11.30 pm
• she had to send her friend back when it was only a block away
• she could not borrow her friend’s phone to call back when her own hp is on low batt
  

She then explained that she did send another sms to my husband’s hp saying that:”Hey, XXXX got bit by dog. I send her home first now ok. I’ll be careful. Sorry ah don worry.” I check my husband’s hp and it was received at 12.22 am. By then, I just did not know what to say. I asked if she knew that after her first sms, the phone was already switched off so we never got her 2nd message. I then took out the hair dryer and told her to dry her hair before going to sleep.

The next day, I got her to check if her dog-bitten friend was all right. And yes she is.

The learning points here are:

• If you are going out the whole day, always make sure the hp battery is full.
• Do not assume that after you sms, the other party will get the message.
• When your own hp cannot be used, can always BORROW one from someone else!
  
• If it is something important, it is better to call and make sure that the concerned party gets the message, especially when it is so late.
  
• Better to send the same message to least 2 people (each of us has a hp and she had to sms to the one who never read messages).
• Make a habit to leave the contact number of a friend where the family can call, in case of emergency.
  
• Be mindful of the time. It really is unsafe for a girl who wears mini-skirt to be walking in the street after midnight. Even the dog will come after you . . .

In Singapore, to remain employable is tough. For a parent to juggle between work and family, is even tougher. Well, I am proud to say that I managed to stay in the workforce for more than 31 years. The first 3 jobs were around 3 months each. The 4^th one lasted more than 30 years from secretary to executive level.

Many people asked how I managed to stay in the same company for so long? My motto is “Every Day is a New Day”. In addition, you need to have POSITIVE attitudes.

P repare to learn

This is important because to remain employable, one has to learn new skills to keep abreast with the ever changing times. Make it a point to look for courses relevant to your work and get the company to sponsor them. These include computer courses, communication skills, negotiation techniques, to name a few.

O bserve others

By observing others, especially your supervisors and bosses, you would be able to pick up leadership traits from them. The other aspect is to get along with your colleagues better, especially those from other units. Good liaising with different levels has its advantage – things can get done faster.

S elect your friends

More often than not, we spend a lot of time in the office than at home. So, it is good a have a few good and ‘positive’ friends who will support and give you encouragement in times of crisis. Usually, these will be your lunch ‘kakis’ where you can share your joys and woes. This is also a good time to de-stress and enjoy yummy meals together.

I nfluence others

This refers to getting others to be on your side, especially if you are on a project. By able to influence others in the team, common goals can be achieved and time-line can be observed. By having this strong trait also brings out the leadership quality in you. Your supervisor and boss will appreciate that.

T rust your instinct

Just when do you do that – when you have a new idea, when things go wrong or when you are in a dilemma to make a decision. Do consult your supervisor or boss in such a situation. Explain why you are taking the approach and get affirmation from them before proceeding.

I nvest your time

By this, I mean prioritizing the tasks allocated to you. If need be, delegate to others who are the ‘experts’. It also refers to striking a balance between work and family. By having quality time at home and at work, you will be in a better form to perform your tasks.

V alue yourself

By this, I mean one need to feel good about oneself. Unless you value yourself, then you can tap on your strengths and develop them further. If one has low esteem, it will show in his/her slacking performance. When you value yourself, you also look radiant and ready to take on new challenges.

E njoy what you do

Last but not least, enjoy what you are doing. When you have lost the joy in your work, it is time to move on to other areas. So, while you are on the job, take pride in it and give your best shot. Enjoy also your relationship with your colleagues. It will go a long way, especially if you intend to stay in the same company as long as I do.

Well, hope parents still in the workforce will find the above tips useful, not only in the office but also at home.

Update: Article was published in The Straits Times on March 20 under Cats Recruit C22 under title “Give it your best shot”.

Teens nowadays want to feel independent as they grow older and become more mature. However, they still parents to continue to show interest and involvement in what they are doing. This is especially so when school matters are concerned. Survey shows that when teachers and parents work closely together, teens do better academically. Unfortunately, parental involvement in school tends to drop off as soon as students are in the upper secondary level.

Setting the mood

While younger kids may sit down with Mom and Dad during homework time, teens often prefer to retreat to their private quarters – their rooms. Let them be, just check periodically to make sure that he or she is focusing on the task at hand, rather than talking on the phone, chatting online, playing video games or watching TV. Also, make sure the study area is well-lit and distraction-free. The chair, desk, and computer space should be comfortable. Many teens like to study with music but parents should have some say about the volume. The TV should be off when your teen is doing schoolwork. Finally, limit phone calls or computer usage until homework is completed.

Where do parents come in?

The parent role is a supporting one. You should encourage your teen to think, evaluate and respond on his or her own. Avoid doing the work for them. This will help your adolescent know the sense of achievement and learn from the assignment. It will also reinforce the idea that teens need to be independent in many aspects of life and have to take responsibility for the work they do. However, make yourself available for questions about the assignments which may mean helping your teen understand instructions, listening to ideas, or reviewing the final product. Remember, your teen values your opinion, so be a supportive resource when needed. Here are some tips to help you make homework easier for your teen:

• Sit down and draw up a schedule with your teen. Help your him/her prioritize by rearranging time slots, where necessary. Emphasize that studying should be a high priority and should not end too late every night.
• Ensure that the necessary supplies are readily available to do his or her homework. Example, folders to organize assignments; appropriate calculators for more mathematics; a wall calendar or personal planner to record assignment due dates, tests, extracurricular practices and rehearsals.
• Encourage your teen to voice out, should there be a need for clarification and further help is needed.
• Suggest that your child check with teachers or other classmates for help. School teachers are usually more than willing to give advice. With classmates, group studies will also help clear doubts.
• Engage your teen in thought-provoking discussions about classes, homework assignments and school projects, focusing on the positive aspects of school. Your perspective can help your child apply what is being taught in school to the “outside” world.

With a little support from parents, homework can be a positive experience for your teen. It should be one that enriches learning, reinforces daily classroom lessons and fosters lifelong skills.